Shocking Moral Decay!

Today, I must inform my dear readers about a shocking decline in morality. Friends, there is trouble in River City. There’s trouble in the valleys and in the high places. There’s trouble in the capitals of the nations and in the lowliest villages. We are all participating in this wickedness, and unless we put a stop to this, we’re all doomed.

Of what am I speaking? Why do I stand on the mountaintop, crying in the wilderness? Why am I scrambling my allusions? It’s because all around me, and all around you, shocking sin is taking place. We know from years of solid Biblical instruction that monogamy is God’s law. Abraham and David and the Apostle Paul all married only one woman and were faithful to her throughout their lives. (She was well used by the time that Paul got to her, but hey, being faithful is being faithful.) But we see others around us violating this every day.

Not only are they spreading their filthy behavior about to any takers, they are doing it in front of us, in public, in front of children and dogs. I see it, and what is worse, I smell it everywhere I go. It makes me itch with irritation and weep for the shame of it. This wanton sexuality without regard to decency is the characteristic of the age, but I don’t have to accept that.

Now some will say that this behavior is none of my business. Some will ask why I feel the need to impose my own morality on others. Some will observe that much of our economy depends on tolerating and even promoting this wickedness. That’s as may be, but I, for one and I fear only one, cannot permit my soul to be coated by the sins of others just for a little convenience. That’s base cowardice, and I call anyone who goes along with this sin yellow.

But this is nothing new. You can read about this evil going on in the great texts of literature throughout human history. This sin has been going on as long as we’ve been around, and we’ve done nothing to stop it. We’ve even encouraged it. Don’t believe me? Have a look at this.

What’s to be done? Write your member of Congress. Write on your blog. Put up signs. If you have two cloaks, sell one, and give to the campaign. Whatever you do, you have to join the movement. Only we can save the world from sin.

We must stop plants from having sex in public!


Where’s my Benadryl?

8 thoughts on “Shocking Moral Decay!

  1. nrhatch

    Brilliant. Here! Here! Loved it from first word to last, Greg.

    Plants have no shame. None! They flaunt their naked sexuality and distribute their pollen around willy-nilly . . . stamens and pistils self-fertilizing when bees have gone awol.

    It’s a disgrace.

  2. Pingback: Monogamy and Infidelity « Spirit Lights The Way

  3. maryrollins

    Your other fan is better than I. What else can be said? Well, with the exception that Benadryl is for those with mild allergies. OTCs are nothing compared to what a great (not good) allergist can prescribe. With their stuff you will be joining in the immorality gleefully.

  4. Maggie

    That reminded me of posts on the Onion. Luckily plant sex doesn’t bother me that much. 😛

  5. Pingback: What’s Up? « Spirit Lights The Way

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